Why are you running away?
by Broken Skater
Summary: The girl Shawn love has run away. How will he deal with her being gone? How will he deal when she comes back? Why did she run away?
1. The letter

Everyone stood around in the kitchen of the Matthew's home, all of them with a somber look on their faces. None of them had expected this. Amy was the first to find the note, she had stood there silently reading it. Curiosity had gotten the best of everybody because they all ended up standing with her in the kitchen, even Mr. Feeny. "Mom, what's wrong?" Cory finally asked after a few minutes. "It's from Missy..." She said before she started to read the letter.   
  
"hey guys, I can picture you all standing around the kitchen now. I don't know how you all managed to be there at the same time when this letter is found, but I have no doubt that it will happen. That's the most heartbreaking thing for me right now. That you guys are all together and have to read this. But there's no other way, I couldn't say goodbye to you in person. Someone would have tried to stop me. Please don't try to find me. I just need to be alone now. I promise I'll be fine.   
  
Mom and Dad, You raised a bright daughter. I can make it on my own. Please don't worry. Dad, don't be mad, please. Just think, out of all your kids, I'm probrably the one who is the most capable of living on their own.   
  
Cory, I'm so sorry. You know I'll be alright. Just use that twin sense that we have.   
  
Eric, I know I'm your little sister but you don't need to always be there to protect me. Just trust that I can handle things on my own.   
  
Morgan, sweetie, don't cry. I promise this isn't goodbye forever. I'll be back someday. I'll always be your big sis and I'll always love you.  
  
Mr. Feeny, I'm sure you're right there with everyone. Thank you for teaching me all of these years. It is because of what you taught me that I feel I'm capable of facing the world.  
  
Topanga, please look after Cory and care for him. I wish you two the best of luck.  
  
Jack, Take care of Shawn please. I'm aware that we aren't close but I know Shawn will need his brother. I'm so sorry because I know Shawn will probrably not talk to anyone for at least the next three days.  
  
Shawn, I'm sorry...  
I love you all very much. I'll call when I get to where I'm going.   
Missy"  
  
Amy's voice started to break towards the end of the letter and Alan put his arm around her. All of their eyes filled with tears. "Well, she is right. The girl does have a good head on her shoulders. I have no doubt that she will be sucessful in whatever she is doing. She is truly amazing..." Mr. Feeny said. Everyone stood in silence for a moment longer. Morgan ran up to her room in a fit of tears and Eric ran after her. Cory was holding Topanga in front of him and he had his face buried in her shoulder. Mr. Feeny and Jack stood there looking a little lost. Alan tried to comfort his wife.   
  
Shawn couldn't take it anymore. He grabbed his jacket and left. Someone had tried to call after him but no one came after him. They knew him to well. There would be no talking to him when he was like this. The only one who could have reached him when he was in this kind of mood was Missy.

A/N: This is my first attempt at a fan fic. I own nothing and that usual stuff. I gave Cory a twin sister in this story just cuz I thought it'd work for this story. I hope everyone enjoys it.


	2. Remember me

Shawn slammed the door after he entered his apartment. _'How could she just leave me?'_ He thought as his fist slammed into the wall. _'After all we've been through. She couldn't say goodbye to me? just I'm sorry?'_ he wondered. He wandered into his room as he rubbed his hand that was now throbbing. He threw himself on his bed and noticed an envelope on his pillow. He sat up and looked around the room before he picked it up. _'She's not here.'_ He thought to himself sadly. He picked up the envelope and opened it. The letter smelt of her favorite perfume. It smelt of strawberries. _'She's torturing me now.'_ Shawn thought as he unfolded the letter. He slowly read it, absorbing every word of it.  
  
Shawn,  
  
You didn't think I would really just leave without saying something other than 'I'm sorry', did you? I just couldn't write it in the letter I left at my house. And no, I'm not trying to torture you either, and Yes, I can still read your mind, Hunter. I just... well, I don't want you to forget about me... They say that smell is a strong trigger for memories. After what has happened the past couple of weeks, I don't want you to forget me. I don't know what I mean to you anymore.   
  
Shawn, I love you so much. More than you know. I just can't stay. And please don't think it's because of what happened after graduation. I promise with everything I am that you are not to blame. This has been a long time coming. You know that. I can't stay there anymore. There are things in my life that no one understands, not you, not Cory. It'll only hurt you more if I stay. Shawn, please don't be mad at me. I'm sorry, I can't say I'm sorry enough... I just can't do this...   
  
I love you always.   
Missy.  
  
The last line was smudged from tear drops. 'She cried over me?' He wondered. He remembers only seeing her cry once. He was so scared when it happened. He bit his lip thoughtfully trying to remember why she had been crying. He couldn't remember. He shrugged and looked back at the letter. Reading it over again he felt his anger growing. Shawn felt like he wanted to crumple the letter and throw it out. He wanted to throw the memory of her out. He hated her. He loved her... _'How could I have been so dumb? I could have told her. I could have had her here with me...'_ Shawn thought as tears formed in his eyes. It had been a long time coming though, he knew that.   
  
He thought back to when he had tried to run away. He had been about eleven years old, sitting in the bus station with his ticket. His father had just left him again and he felt he couldn't stand it anymore. He had been sitting there alone thinking of all he was leaving behind when he heard her voice. "Hey, going somewhere?" She had asked with a smile and she sat next to him. He had tried to look away but he could never turn his back to her. He remembered what she was wearing that day. She was still a tom-boy back then, wearing jeans with holes in the knees, a baggy sweatshirt that she had stolen from Eric, dirty sneakers. Her blonde hair in a messy ponytail. She was beautiful to him, even back then.

"I can't stay here, Missy." Shawn whispered. "I know. Take me with you." Missy said softly. He remembered the shock he felt when he heard her say this. "What?" He had said. "Take me with you." She said. Her blue eyes wide with urgency. "Please, run away, just run away with me. I love my family and all, but you know I'm not like them. I need to run away. Please, Shawn, just run with me." She begged. "No, You have to stay here. We can't both leave Cory... No, Missy, You have to stay." He had said trying to do the right thing. He stood up trying to be strong.  
  
"You won't make it far. Mr. Turner and Cory are around here somewhere. All I have to do is call out to them and they'll find you." She said. He had never heard her sound so serious before. Never before had she tried to get him into trouble. This was one of his best friends, his partner in crime. "No. Missy, the life of a runaway isn't for you." He said. "It's not for you either, Shawn!" She said. "I'm going." Shawn had said grabbing his suitcase and walking away. Missy ran and jumped in front of him. "I promise you this, Hunter. One day I will run away, and I won't let you come with me." She said in a low voice, glaring at him. Then she called out for Mr. Turner.  
  
Looking back on it, Shawn was grateful he didn't leave. He was eleven years old, how far could he have made it. Missy was bright though, even at that age she could have made it. But the years had passed and she was always right there with him and Cory. After so much time he had forgotten her promise. He never thought she would actually do it.   
  
He laid back onto his pillows. He was completely lost. He breathed in deeply, smelling her strawberry perfume. _'How could she think that I would ever forget her?'_ he wondered. He could recall with such vividness the day they had met.  
  
He was three years old and in the park. His mom and dad sitting on the bench watching him, ocassionally glancing at eachother lovingly. He saw all the other kids playing and laughing. He sat alone in the sandbox. He focused on the castle he was making. "Tag you're it!!" He heard a little girl squeal. "Ow! Not so rough!" He heard a boy whine. He looked up to see a curly haired boy rubbing his arm, frowning. "Don't be such a baby!" the little girl screamed, running. The curly haired boy ran after the girl with great determination. She tripped on her untied shoelace and fell. The curly-haired boy caught up to her and tapped her shoulder. "Tag, You're it!" He shouted joyously. The little girl jumped up and reached out to tag him. "No backsies!That's the rules!" The boy said sounding very proud that he wasn't 'it' anymore. The little girl pouted and crossed her arms in front of her. Shawn had laughed softly as he watched the two kids.  
  
She had heard him and that's when she first saw him. She looked over to see him sitting in the sandbox, She smiled brightly and walked over to him. She gently tapped him on the shoulder. "You're it." She said softly. "How come you tapped him lightly?" The curly haired boy asked. "Cuz he's not you." She said matter-of-factly. "So, what's you're name?" The curly haired boy had asked. "Shawn. What's you're name?" He asked. "I'm Cory, and this is Missy. We're twins." Cory said with a smile.   
  
Shawn laughed as he thought back to that day. She was always a tough one. It's hard to imagine her and Cory are twins. Cory with his dark curly hair. He was a follower, he would follow along with Shawn's crazy schemes. He believed in having one true love. Cory was just a great goofy, loveable guy. Missy, on the other hand, She had straight blonde hair, bright blue eyes. She was a lot tougher than Cory, but more quiet, shy, secretive... Cory could never keep a secret. But they did have a lot in common, they were friendly, sweet, and with an innocence few ever possess, though Missy was a bit on the dark side.   
  
Shawn sighed and rolled over. He couldn't even think anymore. All he thought about was her.


	3. Pictures

Shawn hated that she knew him so well. It had been about three days since she left. Shawn didn't speak to anyone in those days. He couldn't even bring himself to look at anyone. He just moped around the apartment. Jack would give him worried glances, but he didn't say anything. For that Shawn was grateful. Though now it was time to snap out of it. He couldn't stop living his life because she left him. She didn't just leave him though. She left everyone. Eric hasn't been the same since she left. He also drifted around the apartment looking lost. _'What day is it?'_ Shawn wondered as he woke up. He glanced at the calander next to his bed. _'Friday? Can that be right?'_ He wondered rubbing his eyes. Jack and Eric were at work. _'Maybe I should visit Cory. He must be a wreck with Missy gone.'   
_  
He glanced at the clock. _'noon already?'_ he thought. Well at least it's not too early to visit Cory. He showered and got dressed and went over to the Cory's house. Shawn knocked on the door but no one answered. He though about where everyone would be. Amy was probably out shopping with Morgan before Morgan's dance class. Alan should be at work. Cory should be home though. He reached for the doorknob. The door was opened so he entered the house. "Hello? Anyone home?" Shawn called. "Up here." Cory shouted from upstairs. Shawn climbed the stairs. He looked in Cory's room but didn't see him. "Over here." Cory said. Shawn turned around and saw Cory sitting on the floor of Missy's room, which was right across the hall from his room.  
  
Shawn took a deep breath and entered the room. It smelt of strawberries. His mind flooded with a million and three memories of her. Shawn sat on the floor next to Cory, who had a photo album on his lap. "You wouldn't believe how many of these she has. Most of them are pictures of the three of us..." Cory said. Shawn took the album from Cory and looked at a picture of the three of them at age eight covered in mud. "Who's idea was it to mud wrestle?" Shawn asked with a slight laugh. "Either yours or hers. I can't remember." Cory said laughing. "It was probably mines." Shawn said. He flipped through a couple of pages.   
  
"This is one of my favoites." Cory said pointing to a picture in the middle of the page. It was the day the three of them started high school. "Ooh yeah. She became quite a girl in high school. I'll never forget the next day. It was the first time I had ever seen her dress like a girl." Shawn said with a laugh. "I think she did it for you." Cory said. Then he looked down at another album he had found. "Really?" Shawn asked. "Yeah, cuz you were into all those girls at the time. She thought maybe if she dressed like them... You'd like her too." Cory said, not looking up from the photo album. Shawn frowned and looked at a picture of her brightly smiling from the top of a tree.  
  
"I always did like her." Shawn said softly. Cory looked up surprised. "You did?" Cory asked. Shawn nodded. "She's so much better than me though. We both know that." Shawn said. "That's not true." Cory said. "You're a good guy, Shawn." Shawn shook his head and closed the book. He leaned against her bed and sighed. He looked around the room. "She left just about everything, didn't she?" He said observantly. Cory nodded."She probably wanted to keep it light, since she's on the move right now." He said.   
  
They sat there for a couple of moments in silence. Then Cory jumped up. "This is so dumb. We're moping around here like she died or something. All we have to do is go out there and find her!!" Cory said. Shawn sighed. He loved that Cory had faith that they could find her but Shawn knew better than that. "We won't find her. She's a lot smarter than us. If she doesn't want to be found, we won't find her. Besides, what would we do when we found her?" Shawn asked. "We would drag her back home kicking and screaming." Cory said like the answer was obvious. Shawn just stared at him for a moment and Cory sat down looking a bit defeated.   
  
"Why did she go?" Cory asked looking as if Shawn had the answer. Shawn shrugged. "I don't know. She's special, you know. There's no telling what goes through her mind." Shawn said. "But she knows our minds awfully well." Cory said. "Yeah, you've got that right." Shawn said. He picked up another photo album. "She never showed me this picture." He said. It was a picture of him with a goofy grin on his face. Like he was laughing at something. Cory looked at the picture. "I've never seen it before. It's a good picture of you." He said.   
  
Shawn looked over as Cory flipped through the book he had. "Stop." Shawn said. He reached over to take the book from Cory. "This is my favorite picture." Shawn said pointing to a picture of Missy laying in the grass, her blonde hair shining in the sun. She was laughing. "I was standing over her when I took the picture. Remember? That was when we spent the weekend at the lake last year." Shawn said. "Yeah, she looks so happy there." Cory said. Shawn took the picture out of the book and put it in his jacket pocket. "What are you doing?" Cory asked. "Well, she's gone. So the way I figure it, her stuffs up for grabs." Shawn said. "She's going to kick your butt when she gets back for stealing a picture." Cory said. "Yeah, well I should kick her butt for leaving me." Shawn said.   



	4. graduation

**A/N: Sorry this took so long. Thank you to kirby-weasley and Wykdwin for the good reviews. I appreciate it. I'm thinking about increasing the rating in later chapters cuz it might get more serious. It depends on how it goes. But it won't be for a few more chapters. I think that's it. I hope you enjoy it.**

They spent a few more hours sitting in her room. They just remembered the great times they all had over the years. Sometimes they just sat quietly wondering where she was, if she was alright. They heard someone running up the stairs. They both looked at the door hopefully. It was Morgan. Morgan paused at the door. "What are you doing in here?" She asked quietly. "Just going through Missy's things." Cory said. Morgan's eyes filled with tears. She opened her mouth to say something and then closed it. She ran off to her room.

"She's been like that ever since Missy left. She can't seem to speak to anyone. I caught her in here the other night, just laying on the bed and crying." Cory said, sadly. "Poor kid. I don't think she understands what happened." Shawn said. "I don't understand what happened." Cory said.

"Just that Missy left. She'll come back one day. I think everyone is just focusing on the fact she left. They feel abandoned." Shawn shook his head. "I guess I don't really understand either. She was going to leave anyway. Wasn't she planning on going away to school? She just left a little early."

"I guess... It's just not fair. She didn't even tell us where she planned on going to school. She got accepted from everywhere she applied, all with full-scholarships. You're right, Shawnie. She is a lot smarter than us." Cory said with a laugh.

A while later Shawn decided to head back to his apartment. He entered the dark apartment and frowned. He still couldn't believe that Missy left. She couldn't at least see him one time before she went? Shawn turned on the light and took the picture of her out of his pocket. He sat on the couch feeling a bit defeated. Then he picked up the phone. Maybe if he called her cell phone...

He dialed the number that he had memorized. 'It's ringing, that's good.' he thought. Then her voice mail picked up. He frowned as her listened to her silly message. Then the beep. "Hey, Missy, It's Shawn. Where are you, girl? Call me, please? I just want to talk to you, that's all. Just be careful, alright? Bye." Shawn sighed and hung up the phone. He knew that Missy wasn't going to call him.

Maybe she did leave because of what happened after graduation. He thought back to graduation and the chance he had to be with her.

The cermony was over. They were at the Matthew's house partying. Cory and Topanga had told Shawn and Missy how they were engaged. Everything was going great. Missy was walking around with a bright smile on her face. She was wearing a short pale blue dress and still had her graduation cap on. She walked over to Shawn. "Shawnie!" She said wrapping her arms around him. He remembers breathing in the scent of her strawberry shampoo. It felt so right when she was in his arms.

She pulled away slightly and had a serious look on her face. "Want to go for a walk?" She asked. "Sure." He said and he grabbed his jacket. They walked around the neighborhood and ended up in the park. They walked over to the swing set and Missy sat on a swing. "So...We survived highschool." She said. "Yeah, we did." Shawn said. He walked behind her and started to push her gently on the swing. "It's kinda weird. I never thought we'd make it." She said. Shawn laughed. "I never imagined myself graduating. I had no doubt you would." He said. "Yeah, well, I think I slept through as many classes as you did." Missy said. "You probrably slept through more than me. But you tied with Topanga as the smartest girl in school." He said.

"I'll miss this." Missy said after a few minutes of silence. "Miss what?" Shawn said. "This. You know. Just me and you. Things are going to change soon." She said. Shawn frowned and stopped pushing her. He moved and stood in front of her She shivered as cool breeze past them by. Shawn took his jacket off and wrapped it around her shoulders. Then he knelt in front of her. She looked so sad. "Hey." Shawn said placing his hand under her chin so she would look at him. "It'll always be me and you. We'll always wind up coming back to this place and having moments like these. I promise." He said.

"I love you." Missy said. She bit her lower lip, looking unsure of herself. Shawn stood up. His best friend had just told him that she loved him. And by the look on her face he could tell that she didn't mean 'i love you like a best friend' type love. "I'm sorry. It's true though. I've always loved you, Shawn." She said. "No, it won't work. You're parents. They tolerate me being friends with you and Cory. They'd never accept us dating. I'm trailer trash. You deserve someone better." He said without really thinking. Missy stood up. "None of that matters to me. I love you. Shawn, please." She said.

Shawn backed away. "Missy, you know me. I haven't had a relationship more than two weeks long. I won't do that to you. I can't." Shawn said. "Then don't do that to me. Just tell me you love me. Just be with me." She said. Shawn opened his mouth to say something. Missy took a step closer to him. "I'm sorry. I won't force you into anything. I just needed you to know. Shawn, do you love me?" She asked.

Shawn wanted to hold her close and he wanted to say that he'd love her forever. But he knew she deserved better than him. And he didn't want to deal with what people said. He couldn't tell her the truth. "No." Shawn said. She stood silently, in shock. He thought he saw her eyes filled with tears. "Fine." She said calmly. "We should go back to the party then." She started to walk back home.

"Missy...you're one of my best friends. I love you in that way, but not more than that." He said. Missy stopped walking and turned to him. "I know." She said with a slight smile. "Here's your jacket." She said handing him his jacket. He reached out to take it. He looked concerned. "Forgive me if I don't cry over you. I've never been one for crying." She said. "I never expected you to cry over me." He said truthfully.

He put his jacket back on. She frowned for a second and then threw herself into his arms. He was surprised but just held her tightly. "Shawn. Please promise me that no matter what that there'll always be times where it's just you and me. And that no matter what happens or what either of us do that we'll always return to this place. And we'll always be best friends." She said softly.

Shawn kissed the top of her head. "Missy, I promise. It'll always be you and me, and we'll always find our way back here." He said.

Shawn was brought back to reality when the phone rang. He jumped to pick it up praying that it was her. "Hello?" He said. "Hey, Shawnie. We're going to the pizza place soon. You wanna come join us?" Jack asked. Shawn sighed. It wasn't her. "No thanks. I think I'll just stay in tonight." He said. "Are you alright?" Jack asked sounding concerned. "Yeah, I'm fine. I'll see you later." shawn said hanging up the phone.


	5. oops

**A/N: Sorry it took me so long to get this chapter out. I promise the story will get better in a few chapters. I know what I want to happen, it's just hard to get there. Or rather I'm impatient and just want to get to that part. But better quality chapters are coming and I'll probably raise the rating then too. I'll try to get another chapter up sometime this week. Thanks to those who have reviewed this story. Let me know what you think so far.

* * *

**

The months seemed to fly by. It was now September and college was starting. A lot of things had changed in the two month since Missy left. Morgan was the happy bubbly kid she use to be. Every one was excited about school starting. Cory and Topanga had moved into the dorms at school. Shawn was dating a girl named Angela for three weeks now. Everyone seemed to move on. Shawn wasn't moving on. He still carried her picture in his pocket and he still went to bed every night expecting her to call.  
  
They were sitting at the pizza place after their second week of classes. Shawn streched and yawned. "How can you still be tired? You slept through all your classes today." Angela said putting her arm around Shawn. "Yeah, but it's just not the same without Missy snoring next to me in class. At least then I wasn't the only one getting in trouble." Shawn said with a laugh. "Yeah, but she actually participated during class while she was sleeping. Feeny was always trying to catch her off-gaurd, but every time she answered correctly." Cory said laughing.  
  
"Who's Missy?" Angela asked. "Cory's twin. You must have seen her. She was always with us." Shawn said. "Ooh. The blonde? I didn't know she was Cory's twin. I thought she was just part of the Shawn Hunter fan club." Angela said. "I have a fan club?" Shawn asked laughing. "Well, you know. Everyone wanted you." Angela said. "Not everyone." Topanga said with a smile. "Ok, well, just about everyone." Angela said. "Trust me, I don't think Missy was in the Shawn Hunter fan club. She was just our partner in crime." Shawn said. "I wonder if she's sleeping in whatever classes she's taking where ever she is."  
  
"You don't know where she is?" Angela asked. Everyone grew silent for a second. Cory and Topanga looked at Shawn knowing that was a touchy subject. He was fine when they talked about her casually but he seemed different if they talked about her leaving. "No, she took off about two months ago." Shawn said. He leaned back in the booth casually and pulled Angela a little closer.  
  
"She said that she's taking some biology classes. I guess the lab she has her calc class in has the swivel chairs on wheels. She fell off it last week when she was sleeping in class. The worst thing they could have given her is chairs with wheels. I can picture her trying to race someone around the classroom with them." Cory said laugh. Shawn sat up quickly. "Wait. You talked to her??" Shawn asked. "Oops." Cory said quietly.  
  
"Oops? What do you mean oops? How could you talk to her and not tell me??" Shawn asked. "Shawn. I would have but she made me promise I wouldn't." Cory said. Shawn sighed. "Where is she?" He asked. "I don't know." Cory said. Shawn glared at him for a second. "I swear. She wouldn't tell me. She just called me once about a week ago. Just to tell me she's fine and to see how I was doing. Then, She talked to mom, dad, eric and morgan. But she didn't tell us where she was." Cory said. "So she talked to everyone except me?" Shawn asked. Before Cory could answer his cell phone rang.  
  
He got up from the booth and answered it. "Hello?... Yeah, we were just talking about you." He said. Shawn stared at Cory and his heart stopped. She was on the phone! Would she talk to him? Shawn looked at Cory with wide eyes, waiting. "Yeah, everything's fine... just wondering if you were still sleeping through classes... really? I can't believe you did that!" Cory said laughing. "She actually brought a pillow and blanket to her Chemistry lecture!" He said to the others sitting in the booth.  
  
"Yeah, mom and dad are fine. Morgan was excited about the cd you sent her. Eric is well, he still misses you a lot though." Cory said. He sighed, "Don't do what?" He asked He was silent for a few moments listening to her with a serious look on his face. "No... You're right, I don't understand. Why can't you just come back?" Cory asked. He glanced at Shawn. "He's right here if you want to talk to him." Cory said. Shawn was ready to grab the phone out of Cory's hand. "Missy, I don't think you're being fair! Alright. I'll talk to you later. bye." Cory said hanging up the phone.  
  
Shawn look heartbroken. "She didn't want to talk to me?" He asked softly. "She said she was running late for class." Cory said. Shawn pouted. "There was a time she would have skipped class to talk to me. Since when is school more important than talking to me?" Shawn asked. "She has a different life now. She's changed." Cory said. "Yeah, a new life that she doesn't want me in!" Shawn said standing up. "Shawn..." Angela said reaching for his hand. Shawn pulled away. "I just need to get some air. I'll see you guys later." Shawn said.  
  
As soon as he left the pizza place he ran up to the park. He got there and sat on a swing. He took her picture out of his pocket. He couldn't believe after two months she didn't want to talk to him. If she really loved him then how could she just cut him out of her life like that? He promised her they would always find their way back here. Would she be the one to break the promise? He wondered. Just when he had gotten his life back together. He was in school, had a girlfriend... that's when she had to make her presence known.  
  
He couldn't sit there. It was starting to get cold. He didn't want to go home though. He didn't realize where he was going until he was standing on the Matthew's front steps. He knocked on the door. Amy opened the door and looked surprised. "Shawn? How are you? It's been a while." Amy said giving Shawn a hug and letting him in the house.  
  
"Yeah, it has been." He said. He avoided the house most of the summer. Shawn stood with his hands in his pockets. "I was... I just...I..." Shawn threw a desperate glance towards the stairs hoping he wouldn't have to finish his sentence. Amy looked at him sympathetically. "She didn't call you?" She asked sounding fairly surprised. Shawn shook his head. He was afraid of speaking anymore.  
  
"Go ahead. If you need me, I'll be in the kitchen. Maybe you'll stay for dinner?" Amy said. Shawn smiled slightly. "I would like to stay for dinner." Shawn said softly. Amy smiled and then went into the kitchen. Shawn slowly made his way up the stairs. He stepped into her room. The smell of strawberries wasn't so stong anymore.  
  
Shawn wasn't really sure why he was there. He just missed her. He laid down on her bed and sighed. He thought about all the good times they had shared. He laid on his side. He closed his eyes thinking back to this one night last year.  
  
Shawn and Jack had a fight and Shawn didn't feel like being in the apartment. It was after midnight when he kocked on her window. Missy opened the window without saying a word. Shawn loved she would let him climb in her window in the middle of the night. She closed the window again once he was in her room.  
  
Missy casually went back to her bed. She lifted the covers and motioned for Shawn to lay down too. Shawn stood there for a moment before her laid down. "Do you want to talk about it?" She asked softly. "Not really." Shawn said. They were both silent for a minute. "How come you didn't go to Cory's room? It's easier climb up the tree outside his room." She asked. "Because Cory would make me sleep on the floor." Shawn said laughing. Missy laughed. "I see. So you're only here for the bed?" She asked jokingly. "Well, you do smell better than Cory." Shawn said.  
  
Even in the dark Shawn could see her roll her eyes. He didn't tell her why he always picked her room. Why he would risk falling out of that evil tree just to get into her room. He didn't tell her that her being there soothed him. That he loved waking up with her cuddled into him, as she always seemed to do in her sleep. He could almost feel her next to him.  
  
Shawn opened his eyes and thought he saw her. He blinked and realized it was Morgan. She was starting to look so much like Missy. Morgan had a sad look on her face, obviously it still hurt her to come into this room. "Hey, kid." Shawn said. Morgan smiled. "I'm not a kid anymore." She said. "That's right. I keep forgetting. You're 16 now." Shawn said with a laugh. It was hard to believe that little Morgan was 16 already.  
  
Morgan was silent for a minute. "I guess I can't be mad at her. She did send me a cd for my birthday." She finally said. Shawn just sat up and nodded. Morgan sat on the bed next to him. "You miss her?" She asked in a gentle voice. Shawn nodded again. Morgan was silent again.  
  
She gently patted Shawn's hand. "So do I... Come on. Mom sent me up here to get you cuz dinner is ready." Morgan said as she got up. Shawn sighed and looked around one last time before going downstairs.


	6. Always her

**A/N: I know I promised I would update sooner but I've had exams and lab reports like crazy. And I know this is a short chapter. I tried to think of something else I wanted in this chapter but couldn't. I think it's kind of a slight transition chapter. I do promise better quality chapters soon. Also Thank you for the good reviews. I do appreciate it.

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Christmas had just past and Missy still didn't go home. She did call Cory every other week or so. They were hanging out at the apartment planning their new year's celebration. "I can't believe Missy's at NYU. She sent mom and dad her report card last week. Made the Dean's list and everything." Cory said. "Yeah, I can't believe Dad didn't go to get her when he found out where she is." Eric said. "I don't think he really would have been able to drag her back." Topanga said.  
"Yeah, New York is a big place. She can definately keep hidden if she wants to." Jack said. Shawn sat quietly on the couch next to Angela. They had been going out for almost four months now. "What's wrong?" Angela asked touching Shawn's hand. "Nothing." Shawn said pulling his hand away.  
  
He couldn't believe he was still with Angela. The first relationship after he pointed out to Missy that he's never been in a relationship longer that two weeks was now on it's fourth month.  
He didn't know why he was with Angela though. Probably some desperate pathetic attempt to forget about Missy. He hasn't talked to her since she left. Angela was about to say something when Cory's cell phone rang. Cory was about to answer it but Shawn leaped off the couch and grabbed it. He glanced at the caller id. It was her! He didn't want everyone to hear how desperate he was so he ran out of the apartment. Cory looked at him in shock but didn't bother to try to get his phone back.  
  
"Hey." Shawn said trying to sound calm when he answered the phone. There was silence on the other end of the phone. "Hello?" Shawn said. He heard her breathe deeply. "Shawn?" She asked. "Yeah." Shawn said. "Ooh, is Cory there?" She asked. "Yeah, he is... I just...how come you never return my calls?" he asked. "I... I couldn't." She said so softly that Shawn could barely hear her. "You couldn't?" He asked sadly. "Shawn, please... just let me talk to Cory." She said, still speaking softly. "Not til you answer my question." He said. "I can't do this right now, Shawn."She said.  
  
"Do what? All I'm asking is why in the past six months you couldn't once call me? Let your best friend know that you're still alive. Not dead in some alley. That you're doing alright, not starving to death... all the stuff that's been running through my mind the past 6 months!" Shawn yelled into the phone. Missy was silent for a minute. He could hear her breathing softly. "Tell Cory I'll call him later." Missy said and she hung up.  
  
Shawn sighed and leaned against the door. Why was this so hard? Why was she being so difficult? He use to think that he knew everything about her. Now he wasn't sure. She wasn't acting like the girl that he grew up with. _'Maybe cuz she's not a little girl anymore'_ he thought. He sighed and entered the apartment.  
  
Everyone looked at Shawn when he entered the apartment. None of them wanting to say anything but all of them wanting to know what happened. Shawn tossed the phone to Cory. "She said she'll call you later." He said. Shawn started to walk up the stairs. "What'd she say?" Eric asked. Shawn shrugged. "Nothing really." He said. "Where are you going?" Angela asked. "To my room." Shawn said.  
  
"Wait!" Angela said. Shawn stopped in the doorway to his room and looked at her. Angela climbed the stairs and now stood in front of Shawn. "What's wrong with you?" Angela asked. "Nothing." He said calmly. "Shawn, don't lie. You have to stop this. You can't go on moping whenever someone mentions her name. You can't keep pushing me away. it's not fair." Angela said. Shawn thoughtfully chewed on his bottom lip searching for the words to say.  
  
"You don't understand." Shawn said softly. "Of course I don't understand! You never take the time to explain it to me, Shawn. I'm not going to wait forever. I'm not going to stick around if I'm always going to be second best to some little brat that thought her life was too hard and left all of her friends moping over her! How can you care so much for someone who won't even talk to you?" Angela yelled.  
  
"Can we do this later?" Shawn asked glancing at everyone watching their fight. "No, Shawn, we can't do this later! This is it! Who do you care about more? Me or her?" Angela asked. Shawn was silent for a minute. Everyone was watching him with wide eyes. He looked at Angela and could see in her eyes that she was praying that he would say that he loved her more than Missy. He couldn't lie anymore. "Her... always her..." Shawn said before closing his bedroom door.


End file.
